One of the most destabilising experiences for many victims is not only the original harm, but the moment they realise that the structures around them are not designed to hold what they are carrying.
They are told to report, to speak, to trust the process. Then they encounter delay, careful language and the slow calibration of response around reputation, liability and institutional self-preservation. During this time, recovery is expected to continue. In reality, it often stalls. The nervous system does not move forward while waiting to see whether reality will be acknowledged.
In the absence of timely, accountable human care, people look for somewhere to place what they are carrying. Increasingly, that includes digital systems that offer immediate response and sustained attention. The relief of being answered can feel real. The sense of being met can feel stabilising.
But attention without responsibility is not the same as care.
A responsive system that has no duty of care, no capacity for accountability and no shared reality cannot hold the weight of trauma. For individuals already navigating isolation, betrayal or prolonged uncertainty, this kind of one-sided interaction can deepen disconnection from real relationships. It can create the impression of support while leaving the underlying need for safe, attuned human presence unmet.
We are moving into a landscape where deeply personal material is increasingly disclosed into spaces that are not bound by therapeutic ethics or relational accountability. For people whose boundaries have already been crossed, this requires careful thought. Privacy, containment and responsibility are not abstract concerns in recovery. They are central conditions.
People need places where their experience can be held by another human being who carries responsibility for how that material is received. They need continuity, privacy and a response that is proportionate to what they have lived through. When those conditions are present, recovery is supported. When they are absent, the search for relief can lead people into spaces that cannot provide repair.
The distinction between attention and care matters.
So does responsibility.
Tess Hunneybell
Trauma Therapist
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